Lists and Lessons

I am a list person… goals for the new year, wish lists, grocery lists, Christmas lists packing lists, and it goes on. When I was 16 I made what people today call a 'Bucket List'. If you have not seen the movie then it is all the things you want to do before you die.

My lists have been very useful this year. For the last few years Daylin and I have been living in Asia so in February I flew from Bangkok to Seattle to attend a teacher fair. I took my list of all things I wanted in a new a school and administrator and made a quick 5 day trip. I came back to Bangkok with a job in Venezuela in a great school all the things I wanted in admin and for Daylin. As for the Bucket List, Daylin and I knocked off four this year Angkor Wat in Cambodia, Komodo Dragon Island in Indonesia, seeing an ant eater in the wild, and South America, a new continent. There is another successful list. Then there was the failed list… I shipped my things from Bangkok to Miami and the list was lost. Customs gave me 6 days to get down there until they torched everything. Luckily, things turned around but that just goes to show you the importance of lists. Here is another one. Daylin’s school supply list in Spanish. I finally just handed it over to a clerk, she slammed them on the counter and we bought it all. I guess these are all things I try to control and make happen.

Things not on the list… friendships, Thursday night dinners, Daylin’s laughter and tears, and losing friends. When I think about the Seattle trip, it isn’t the job, it is people. My friends in Bangkok just took over. Michelle and Court moved in to take care of Daylin and he had pet scorpions at the time. Other friends took him swimming and to movies, helped him with homework, cooked and celebrated our new direction. Then there was Thursday night dinner. This was a highlight, taking time each week to eat, talk and laugh together. Then there is Daylin-- he is eleven now, as tall as I am. He is a wonderful boy. He has a gentle heart, a great sense of humor and he is his own person. We have had awesome moments-- thousands of flying foxes over Komodo Island as the sun set, early morning sunrises on the boat as we sailed through uninhabited islands, drinking coffee before the crew woke up, trips through the jungle, holding baby monkeys.

Then there are the animal rescues. Daylin’s new goal is to be a vet. For the last few years we have had a parade of different animals through the house. Geckos on glue traps, sick kittens, baby possums, a parrot, birds and more birds. These have all come with good moments but also with a lot of tears. Daylin is learning his own lessons and I am glad to see that he has decided to invest himself rather than avoid getting hurt. That is a tough one for a parent to watch but I wouldn’t want him to do it any other way. This year in June I lost a friend. In some ways I lost more than one. It was such a deep hurt that those of us who loved her have not kept in touch as we would have otherwise. And that is something I am not proud of. Over the years I can count on one hand the actual real friends I have had. I like people but real friendship is a gift. Michelle passed away in June and I have thought of her on thanksgiving, Christmas and the first day of school and a lot of Thursday dinners that Daylin and I have eaten alone during the past few months. Michelle had lots of lessons to teach, she was a giver, she was non-judgmental and she knew how to love people. Last Christmas she made me a gift. It was a beautiful handmade book called How Can It Be Christmas. It is sitting on my table in Venezuela as a decoration and I haven’t quote been able to read through it this season. But it is another special gift from her. And one more thing not on my list—Day and I are home for Christmas. We haven’t been back in a number of years. We are with family and friends, we are putting on a puppet show this afternoon. The atmosphere is warm and loving and its not because of what we bought on the Christmas list, but its because of who’s here. So I’ve got another list of goals for next year already written down. But what I’m really looking forward to is life in between.